You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize