porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize