so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize