I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
