you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
