so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
