hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
