Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
