Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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