All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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