Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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