Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
