but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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