I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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