sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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