My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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