Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
