Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
