He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
