he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize