She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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