her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
