im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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