You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
