You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize