I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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