Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
