why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
