i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
