Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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