I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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