ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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