You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
