My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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