My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
