that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
