Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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