Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize