dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
