He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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