oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
