So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
