Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize