Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
