theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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