We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
