if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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