Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
