a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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