her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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