i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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