dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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