i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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