My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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