I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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