so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
