Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
